I am the person that shies away from sharing my birthday and I typically wake up a little sadder than normal. But that is a story for another day. One where I compose all of those emotions.
Anyways. Thirty. I woke up and the boys were AMAZING. They were sweet and cuddly. We Facetimed my mom and made some french toast and was off to work by 9! Work was wonderful and full of love and just happiness.
The boys took a laughable nap after lunch and proceeded to play like monkeys on the bed. Alexander, in all of his eagerness and boyhood, jumped off of my bed and landed on his beloved little foot. Sending me into WTF mode and ultimately deciding to take him into the urgent care because he was favoring it, crying and wouldn't stand on it. Luckily, bruising and a sprain.
Nick met us at the urgent care & one we were done we walked around Target (I KNOW I KNOW) & dined at Paladar Latin Kitchen in Annapolis where we enjoyed some great food and the boys had flan for the first time!
I was content, full of love, full of food, and overall just blessed. Truly blessed. I was on the receiving end of so much love from coworkers, friends, and family that I was bursting at the seams.
That is when I decided that this was what 30 was going to be for me. I needed every day to feel like my 30th birthday day, although, I could probably do without the urgent care trip.
I have dealt with anxiety for much of my short life thus far. I have dealt with Post Partum Depression and Anxiety since 2015. And for the first time in nearly 4 years - I felt different. Corny? Possibly? Not a coincidence? More than likely. But I needed that. I needed that re-awakening. To feel something outside of these feelings that can literally drown me and make my day seemingly melt into the days before and the days to come.
So this is my promise to me, to my boys, to my husband, my sisters, parents and close framilys (friends that are family - I'll trademark that shortly).
I promise to be the best version of myself. To not dwell on the negative and overwhelming emotions I am so easily driven by.
I promise to do better and be better not because its what is expected of me but because I am finally in a place where I can let that go.
I promise to continue to go above and beyond for you because I love you ever so fiercely and that won't change.
I promise to dedicate more time to me because I have been pouring endlessly into each and every one of you and was at a point where I wasn't pouring just sprinkling.
I promise to dedicate more time to appreciating everything - the good and the bad, the ugly and the beautiful.
I promise to take more pictures of our moments not because they're fun because of your smiles, the ways your eyes glisten and the way that moment makes me feel.
Here's to our adventures in the next year, our memories & moments, our firsts, our WTF's, food, iced white mochas & lemonades, Hawaiian sweet rolls & my unnecessarily loud vibrating phone, here's to my family (near & far), to my team at work, to my boys (all 5 of you - husband 2 kids and 2 dogs - don't read into that...seriously) --
Here's to 30!
