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Alexander's First Birthday

It's official!


We have a One Year Old! 

I took the time to put together a timeline of his first year and every month of his precious little life and I KID YOU NOT, I was a mess. I had to stop a few times just because I was in tears. I cannot believe how quickly this year has flown by! 


This is his very first picture. My little blue berry of love. 

Friday was bitter sweet. He woke up in such a great mood, happy and hungry. We had the longest month ever with Nick being deployed, being sick for an entire month and several cries between the two of us. So for him to wake up and be healthy, happy and now a one year old - I was definitely in my feelings. 

I had made his birthday cake/smash cake the night before. 

And while he wasn't a fan - he dealt with me lol. 




We did his birthday party the very next day! We had such a great morning together and I will forever cherish those little giggles and running around.



A Baggie of Goodies to play with.
Dirt Cake. Cupcakes - Big thanks to Sara and Jesy Littlejohn for their baking skills!
Goldfish and Crayon Baggies ( because Elmo loves them).
I made Ziti, Pasta Salad, Chicken in the Crockpot, and Black Bean Dip.


His stats were adorable and due to some technical errors on my end, I wasn't able to print it in the size it was intended for. But it was absolutely perfect!


Thank you to  Melanie of CF Designed !
She was exceptional! Quick to respond, I received my product just as quickly as she said she would have it! I would DEFINITELY recommend Melanie!


Alexander's shirt was created beautifully by Donna from AuntieDonnas !
I purchased it and since I was so close to Alexanders birthday I had it rush ordered. To my pleasant and happy mama surprise, I received it 4 days after purchasing! It is absolutely perfect and Alexander looked so precious in it!  Another wonderful recommendation!

I was so overwhelmed with the love we received and were surrounded by on his birthday and I could not have been happier. I am humbled by the people we love and call family. 

Now for the one year old chronicles to begin! 






First Birthday Party

Alexander turns ONE a week from today! Where does the time go? 



Who said it was okay to let me have a One-year-old. Seriously? 

So, when Nick and I first found out we were having a baby something we said we didn't want to do was a first birthday party. Why? Because, we had heard time and time again, it was solely for the parents. Up until October 1st, I agreed. 

Then I started planning. With Nick being gone, with so much having gone on - I just wanted a little distraction and what better way than to have a First Birthday party. Just as quickly as he has turned one - we can plan birthdays to follow but.. after some consideration.. I decided that there a myriad of reasons why you SHOULD have the birthday party. Even if it is just for the parents. 

Your baby is finally ONE!

This time last year you were stressing out about the fact that you were expecting. You have spent the last year tending to cries, fusses, yucky diapers, long nights and longer days. You changed outfits, you grew in size, you learned the value of patience and learned what amazing things a 20 minute nap can do for your body. You have stressfully and successfully reached a FULL YEAR of parenting. Kudos to you. 

You need the support. 

Alexander turning one means a lot more than it should. We had a rough year, much like most first time parents and even the most seasoned parents. The first year can, and most likely will, be difficult. You may be gun-ho about your little one turning one because their fun - but you need your people to help you through the day. It isn't an easy one - you are going to miss the little cuddles as your, now, toddler pushes your face away when you try to kiss them. 

You get to clean your house. 

Face it, your house isn't as clean as it used to be before children. And even at its "cleanest" it still isn't where you would normally have it. What better reason to clean than the fact that you are having a party.. am I right? 

Cake. 

Cake tastes good, period. But you know what tastes much better than everyday cake.. celebratory birthday cake. And that's reason enough. 

Memories. 

Sure, they may not remember it.. But you will. And you will be able to tell them about it with the pictures that remind you of this day. You are entitled to those memories - you worked hard for those memories. I am also in the position where my husband isn't here to be apart of his first birthday - so these pictures and videos will serve as a way for him to partake in it the best way he can from so far away. (we miss you, honey)

and finally, LOVE. 

It may not be this way for everyone. But you are celebrating a year of loving someone, living for someone for an entire YEAR. Your dedication, your triumphs, your AHA moments, your frustrations and worries - all because of LOVE. Whether you celebrate in a big way with family and friends, or a small way with just family. Whether it be a cupcake or a photo shoot smash cake - you are doing this because of Love.. and that is reason enough. 

So go on celebrate that birthday - it only happens once but those memories, your love and what it means last forever. Besides, birthday cake. If you'll be looking for me on the day of his birthday, I'll be in his room crying with wine. 





Remember the Bumpdate






We were definitely on a high with how awesome Alexander was being with all of the testing we were going through from 32 weeks. I was in and out of testing 2-4 times a week with appointments and consultations. Alexander was tiny and not growing as they had anticipated so we would find out in one week - what the decision was. Whether Alexander was healthy enough to stay in til he was ready or bring him in earlier than expected.


I spent the majority of the week scared, stressed, worried and blaming myself. I spent the better half of my pregnancy listening to people practically blame me for not gaining weight, for Alexander not growing - you name it. Who knew mom guilt would come so early? I heard it all..

"you should eat ____ and _____"

"We need to fatten you up" 

"Why aren't you eating?"

"Oh.. you've only gained ___ lbs? Thats not good at all. Aren't you worried about the baby at all?"

Selfish. 
Stupid. 
Dumb. 
Typical mom. 

I woke up that morning, knowing very well, that the decision was made a few months before hand. So, I sat in his room reading a book and had a conversation with him. About women vs hoes, about making good choices, about eating when he got out so that people could see it was NOT my fault - and most of all, that I was proud of him for not leaving us, for being a pain in my belly button, and that I  we absolutely, indefinitely loved him.

So Nick took the time to let me get ready. He reminded me we were doing great. See.. months before we were in the ER with bleeding - thinking we were going to lose the baby. So worry came second nature and the fact that I worked so hard on keeping Alexander in .. only to have to worry about pulling him out before his time.. was something Nick reminded me was OUT OF MY CONTROL.

We spent the week finalizing things, his room, his laundry, our bags, our sanity. lol. 
As much as we wanted him to stay in and grow - we couldn't wait for him to be with us! 

Mind It.



Today, on my personal Facebook, I shared a meme. Much like everyone else does. 
This one specifically. 



I had a few handful share it - but I also received some not so nice messages about how I should be kind to people because they are asking out of concern, worry and interest. That I should be grateful that someone cares enough to ask about Nick being deployed. 

Rarely do I ever feel the need to have to explain something but, apparently, my annoyance is unwarranted and I should know better than be rude to those who are expressing "concern" [ I use that word lightly ]. 

Fact of the matter is - we don't know when he can get leave next because it may coincide with him being deployed.. so no you cannot monopolize his leave. 

Fact of the matter is - we won't know where we get stationed next because we can't tell the damn future. 

Fact of the matter is - we don't know when Nick is coming home and even if I did, I couldn't tell you. 

Fact of the matter is - I don't know if he will be home for the holidays and I'm sorry that that inconveniences you and your nosy self. Ill remember that in the event that he isn't home and I have to ask you to hold the camera so we can record Alexander opening presents. 

Lastly, we cherish as much time as we possibly can. We were lucky to be able to FaceTime and see each other this last week. It wouldn't have happened otherwise. We don't have the same luxuries we used to and we take what we can get. 

I could understand if I were rude about it, I could understand if I was a bitch with my "I don't know" but I was neither. I simply just do not know. Neither does he. And to reach out to someone and tell them they should be grateful for the "concern" baffles me.