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five things i've learned from my second pregnancy, so far...

I knew becoming pregnant would be different this time around, I mean no child is the same so we would anticipate a pregnancy following suit, right?

1 -- You will be tired like no other.  Unlike your first pregnancy, you are more than likely still dealing with an infant, chasing around a toddler, prying yourself away from a preschooler or playing taxi to your child's crazy number of extracurriculars.It doesn't matter how much sleep you think you may have gotten or what you think is enough - you. will. be tired.

If someone would have told me my second would make me hate my favorite coffee or that my 19 month old would start his terrible two's 6 months early - I would have laughed. Who was I kidding? S O S.

2 -- You will always be running late. When I was pregnant with Alexander I was working full time + working extra hours, attending events, being a wife, trekking from doctor appointment to doctor appointment, working on little sleep and I was ALWAYS on time because well.. I don't really know why. This time? I have, at four and half months pregnant, realized that I will be late to my own funeral. It's a fact. I have given up trying to leave at a specific time. If I haven't left a half hour before I'm supposed to be somewhere, it's literally a known fact I will be at least 10-15 minutes late.

And you better not give me shit for it either.

3 --You need to take care of yourself too. I was so used to Alexander just needing me and making sure that I was doing everything I could so that he was comfy, fed, happy + healthy that I wasn't realizing I was literally depriving myself. Until I found out I was pregnant, then I realized that if I don't sleep, eat, or drink water I am literally going to fall prey to this beautiful thing called Life. If you don't take care for yourself, no one else can. So I started making a food log and a water log of everything I ate using MyFitnessPal so that I was SURE I was making and taking the time to feed my needs + beanie's needs.

4 -- Be prepared for anything and everything. When I was pregnant with Alexander,  I was high risk and he wasn't growing, also known as IUGR [ Intrauterine Growth Restriction. ] I thought it was simply because his umbilical cord had inserted in the wrong part of my placenta. I figured that since I was already showing and I wasn't bleeding like I did with Alexander - that I was in the clear.

Unfortunately, I was blindsided upon receiving my results that I was not only carrying another IUGR baby [ no shame, Xander is tiny + mighty - peanut will be just the same ] but that I have poor placental perfusion and was started on aspirin til 36 weeks. Basically meaning my body just doesn't create a healthy placenta + does not provide all that it should during pregnancy.

So, yet again, high risk. But He is good and He will not leave me stranded. I know this and I trust in Him to lead my doctors in the right direction.

and, lastly.

5 -- I am unprepared to love another child the way I love Alexander + it frightens me. I love being pregnant again. I love that we are blessed yet again with another baby and are adding a little boy to our lives. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about how the transition from a family of three to a family of four will be. How do you love someone so much? How are you able to share your heart that already beats so strongly and breathtakingly for one between two itty, bitty souls? Is it even possible?

I was soothed. Upon seeing wiggle worm #2, when I heard his heartbeat + when I finally felt him kick for the first time ever so sweetly. I'm sure, as time goes by I will definitely understand how and why and what it means to literally love with every single fiber of your being for more than one child.

And I cannot wait.

love always, 

n u m b e r t w o.

You are precious. 
and, we love you. 

We've known about you. Since I was 4 weeks pregnant to be exact. We found ourselves eagerly awaiting our ultrasound and 4-6 weeks took FOREVER. So when we had the chance to see you the same day we confirmed you were here we were ECSTATIC. 

Fast forward to 12 weeks, and we had all of our screening, first trimester tests, and the second ultrasound. You brought tears to my eyes, Xander didn't understand, and Daddy was CONVINCED you were a boy. You were so wiggly but, lo and behold, Daddy was right! She was 98% sure you were a boy. 

A few minutes later, the doctor came in and told us we were back to being high risk. My heart sunk. I I remember being so worried about your brother that I was really hoping you would beat the odds we had against us. I really wanted this to be a bit different, less stressful + so, to wait for the anatomy scan in about 6 weeks.
I will say though - the best thing was watching you move and just knowing it would all be okay! 

f a s t f o r w a r d. 

19 weeks 2 days. Our anatomy scan.  We had already had all of our super big tests, and everything pointed to another healthy + happy baby. So you pop up on the screen + I fall in love. You have gotten so big + so much more wiggly! Aunts Jesy + Sara were with us + so was your Brother.

I am such a worry wart that every time she took measurements my face was practically on that screen.
+ here's what we saw.

♡ You are DEFINITELY a boy.
♡ You DEFINITELY look like your big brother.
♡ You are stubborn, like all of us - mommy mostly ;)

Everything looks great baby boy! We are lucky and happy to report that 2.0 is growing ON TARGET which, as of right now, means that IUGR isn't entirely present with 2.0 + this is good news! This also means I don't have to return, as of now, at 28 weeks for a follow-up ... unless between now + our 3rd trimester you decide to be just a tad more stubborn + make us go in ;).

+ now, for an awesome picture ♡
peace sign never looked so awesome ;) 
I love you bunches already, we all do. 

love always,